specialzone | aren't incapability and mourning simply things you want to fear?

[For Sonic, a party was a party, even in a strange new world, though for some reason he had somehow managed not to stay very long at it. Perhaps something else had needed or demanded his attention, hence the late arrival yet early departure.

When one place had exhausted all its resources for the day, or he hadn't found anything else to do there, the only logical solution Sonic could think of was to return to the lobby to be transported somewhere else. Seeing the black hedgehog there and at one warp ring in particular hadn't come as a total surprise; Sonic was becoming accustomed to seeing him more and more, and actually... hadn't minded. If anything, he thought perhaps he liked it, yet couldn't quite place why. Not yet, perhaps.

And yet, this time, Shadow appeared much more contemplative than normal. It wasn't even moody or displeased, which seemed to be the black hedgehog's signature expression. Sonic was slowly getting better at reading his emotions as they appeared. It was why when Sonic approached, he held off on his own signature upbeat tone of voice, and addressed him with a more calm and even tone, something he was learning to do whenever he spoke with him.]

... Hey. You know, it's okay that you're thinkin' about it.

[ Shadow didn't bother turning to face Sonic, instead he kept his arms folded and his gaze stuck on the warp ring. However, he did speak, as he did consider the hedgehog worth talking to... He still didn't deny his absolute interest in his rival, despite their differences and perspectives on things. ]

If it were you instead of me, would you go through the ring without hesitation? Would you think me a fool for resisting?

[ It was almost rhetorical, almost like he was talking to himself when he spoke. Obviously he was thinking himself ridiculous for being unable to take a step forward. But his new outlook on things made going back to the ARK all the more difficult. It had been so easy when he only dreamt of killing everyone in revenge, but now... ]

[This time not having the black hedgehog look at him while he was speaking didn't bother him either. There was too much that Shadow had been focused on, and Sonic could hardly blame him.]

But it isn't me, Shadow. It's you.

[Yet that wasn't why the Ultimate Life form had asked and it wasn't the response he might have been looking for. Whenever Shadow had asked questions, they were hardly ever posed to him. It was usually the other way around.]

I think you should be askin' yourself why you're resisting at all. Can't give you a decent opinion if I don't know what it is that's holdin' you back.

[It hadn't been his place, nor was it anyone's place, to judge someone else either.]

[ It wasn't the response he wanted, but it was true that Sonic wouldn't have been able to give it anyway. He turned to look at Sonic. ]

Something inside me is holding me back; perhaps the pain of being alone.

[ Looks to the floor. ] Standing on that observation deck... The view is the same, everything is the same as it used to be. But... It's empty. Have you ever gone back to your home and found it devoid of everything you cared about?

It no longer feels like home. But even then, when you leave that place and think of it, your memory of how it once was always guides you back to that place.

And you're only left with a great void in your heart.

[ "This place hasn't changed a bit" had been Shadow's words. And that's what made the place all the more haunting; it hadn't changed, despite all the wrong that had taken place. ]

[Being alone. It was a theme that they touched on whenever they spoke. Although they had been alone in such different ways, it was still the same feeling. And it still hurt.

Life was suffering, and all living beings wanted to avoid that suffering, that pain, and that hurt. Shadow wasn't exempt from that, and why should he have been, as much as it pained Sonic to think that any of his friends should be in pain at all. Living meant getting hurt, but it was proof that one was alive. That was the best justification for it. But again... it still hurt.

Although Shadow had turned to look at him now, Sonic turned to look at the warp ring ahead of them. He heard, listened to what Shadow had said and could only imagine the scenario for himself had it been his own life. It wasn't the same.]

... You know how there's that saying that says "time heals all wounds" or somethin' like that? It's kinda not true.

It just numbs them, that's all.

It's not that you don't care 'bout it anymore or you should forget, I'm not saying that. It's more like how you're gonna let your past keep affecting you and your future, like I said before.

Whoever made that saying was suffering themselves, and wanted to believe their own words. I doubt it worked out for them.

[ He takes another step toward the ring. ]

The only way is to face it, is that what people say?

[ He'd faced so many things, had his heart torn apart so many times... Toyed with. But he still managed to stand and walk, which couldn't be said for many. ]

Don't know, I guess it works out for some people. And not for others.

[They did have to face it. Again and again. That is what people said, wasn't it?]

Yeah, cuz runnin' away isn't gonna get you anywhere except lost.

I don't hafta to tell you this. But I'm goin' with you.

[The fact that Shadow had been debating going at all was already progress enough for the black hedgehog. Sonic was never a fan of running away or retreating. Everything had to be faced head on, head held high, no matter how much it hurt.]

I figured you'd say that. You probably would have ventured here even if I didn't... To you it may just be a fortress of the Doctor. And you'd be half right... But there are many corridors here that even he is unaware of.

[ He braced himself, waiting a moment before suddenly leaping up into the warp ring, refusing to hold back any further. ]

[Curiosity would have drawn Sonic to that warp ring, to see and explore more of what it was that he had traversed only a while ago, the last place he remembered being before going back home to Earth.

Shadow had suddenly taken the leap, and it wasn't more than a second later that Sonic followed suit. Who knew what other memories would be awakened, conjured, disturbed if Shadow had gone in by himself? Then where would he be, all but in his empty, lifeless home, longing for the past that was never to become the present?

He couldn't let him go alone.]

[ When Shadow landed, he was on the observation deck. He should have known; this was the place that he and Maria spent so much time in. The Professor as well.

He stood up, looking about slowly. There was no war brewing here; no gunfire, no fighting. The low hum of computers and artificial lighting were the only sounds to accompany the hedgehog's entrance.

Shadow turned to the monitor by the glass window facing the Earth. There was nothing on the screen. No one leaning against it, bleeding.

Shadow, I beg of you. Please, do it for me. The black hedgehog gasped and turned away from the monitor, walking across the center of the room, then stopping... That's where he'd been launched.

Sonic and Shadow had that much in common. Both having been launched in pods from the same location. Though Maria's intent had been to save Shadow, the Doctor's was less charitable. ]

[Sonic didn't land very far from where Shadow had appeared. His memories of ARK were so recent and... shallow, compared to Shadow's, for lack of a better term. In some ways, this was merely another battleground. Plans to conquer and destroy the world had to be stopped despite where they had been hatched, developed, and carried out. It just so happened that the space station was also Shadow's home. Or former home.

It had been much quieter now, less hectic, less rushed. The sound of his footsteps broke the otherwise still silence, Sonic giving no other hint of his arrival besides that before he stood next to the black hedgehog.]

[ Shadow looked to Sonic. ]

Maria had a special illness... She was fragile from birth, and the Professor raised her where her parents could not. She wasn't able to go to Earth... She had a weak immune system. That's why she needed to be in a special environment, one where all temperatures and qualities had to be moderated. A common cold would have killed her.

Everyone that came into contact with her had to go through proper protocols in order to be sure she wasn't infected. The Professor was researching a cure; at the same time, he created me. I never needed to go through protocols... I was always properly sanitized, I never carried any infections or allergens.

[ He gestures to the window. ] We would watch the Earth from there... And wonder what it was like. It was Maria's dream to go to Earth. She had spent twelve years longing for it.

[Sonic nodded once. This was the first time he had heard this straight from Shadow, straight from the source. Sure there had been information sent his way and to his friends when they had been on ARK earlier, but nothing like this. No intimate details like this.

It wasn't often that he heard that name from the black hedgehog. Sonic always thought it was... off limits to use for himself. He always went with third person pronouns instead. It seemed easiest, and perhaps less so much as an invasion of privacy or encroaching on memories that he had no part of at all.

But the way he talked about her, Sonic could tell that he cared for her. And for the Professor. His life before had been so idyllic in its own way, their definition of it. Why it had to end in the manner it did was unfair.

He would have thanked Shadow for the explanation, but it seemed to be inappropriate. It was obvious that Shadow missed them and that past, what could have been and what could have continued to be.]

... What did you think it was like?

[ Shadow approached the window, looking down at the planet. ]

... I didn't know. We knew it was big... Much bigger than the ARK, but the ARK had been our whole world, even if I had spent significantly less time aboard it than she had.

... I knew that... the Professor often worked to try and help the people who lived on Earth... Researching different life forms and how they managed to heal themselves and tackle different illnesses... That was how he "helped people" through the "power of science". That's what he'd explained to me.

[ Places his hand to the glass. ]

We thought about the trees, the fresh air, the blue sky, the birds singing... It seemed like a fantasy world. I only wish our introduction to it hadn't been so...

...

[ DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY! The sound of gunfire... MARIA!!! Shadow frowned considerably, closing his eyes. ]

[Sonic followed after Shadow. He had seen Earth from outer space before, on ARK, in other space stations and space crafts. Some of his toughest battles took place above the planet. But at least for Sonic, he could return to that planet. Shadow and those on ARK didn't have that luxury.

Helping people through science. The latter part with science was important, but it hadn't been as important as the first part. Helping others. Sonic had the same ideal, only the way they had tried to accomplish it was different. Why should anyone have been punished for that?

But the explanation made Sonic think again that Shadow was as real and alive as anyone else. He had never been to Earth during his time here, but nothing had stopped his imagination. And the imagination was powerful, a tool or a key to unlock distant, literally distant lands, open up other new worlds or possibilities. He must have had it in spades along with her.

Yet as much as Sonic didn't wish to think of it, while imagination was limitless, it still wasn't reality. A part of him wished that she could have seen it too, and he could only... imagine how much more Shadow also had wished for that.

Hearing him trail off, the blue hedgehog gave Shadow a moment. Or as much time as he needed.]

[ He turned suddenly, pointing to the center of the room. ]

This is the same room where the Doctor cornered you and your friends... Wanting the fake Chaos Emerald in exchange for the girl's life. You were ejected from a capsule...

[ He looked to Sonic, a stern look on his face. ] When Maria died... I was there. [ He gestured to the center. ] Maria trapped me inside a capsule to protect me... [ He then turned to the monitor. ] She was shot. She died on that machine after using it to send me to Earth.

[ Without another word, Shadow began to walk towards the exit of the room, determined to take a look around, even if it meant sharing more cryptic memories of his past. He remembered what Rouge the Bat had said to him... that his memories could be fake, that he was not the real Shadow, but he wouldn't listen to that. His memories... they were all he had of the past. He wouldn't let any doubt enter his mind that the Professor had used him. ]

[Sonic knew that it had been this place, this room. It hadn't been that long ago in his memory, and the experience was something he really hadn't cared to repeat, even if it had worked out in the end somehow.

And yet his attention was seized once more with this back and forth between recent past and distant past. The comparisons between now and what had been. Events that took place in the same location.

There wasn't anything that could have prepared Sonic for what he heard. Even the general idea or inkling he had before hadn't been enough and couldn't have been enough. It didn't take much to see why or how something like... that... affected the black hedgehog and forever changed him into who he was now.

It took a while before Sonic was ready to head out of the room. His eyes fell to its center, briefly glanced to the machine, then gazed back out to the window. It was still almost unbelievable. The time difference was staggering, but all the events had collided and occurred in this room. Had he been here, had he been able to do anything to change it, he would have. But it was all a matter of what if and the hypothetical, and nothing could have been changed. He had to look forward as he always did, and just as Shadow had to as well.]

Edited 2011-06-26 15:35 (UTC)

[ Shadow stopped, and he turned to look at Sonic. His voice was suddenly cold again, chilled to the bone. ]

Don't look so down; this isn't real after all. This isn't the true ARK. If it was, time would be different. There's no way we could both be here... and not enemies.

[ He turned away again, waiting at the doorway. ]

[Sonic's eyes looked over to Shadow, but that was all that moved, save for what he thought was the slight shiver that ran up his back.

No, it might not have been the true ARK as Shadow had stated ever so clearly, but it was disturbingly similar. Not wanting to upset the black hedgehog any further or make it any harder for him to endure, Sonic nodded and headed toward the exit as well, joining Shadow once more.]

[ Watching Sonic join him, Shadow began to walk through the automated doors, turning to the right corridor and looking at all the humming lights, bits of data displayed on screens they passed. ]

This hallway is long; I remember it well. [ He looks up at a few emergency lights. They're turned off right now. ] When there's an emergency, these lights shine red, and an alarm sounds. I only experienced it once.

When you leave this corridor, there are three options. One leads to sleeping quarters, the room at the end of the hall leads to several gravity testing areas as well as the domains of many research projects. Though you'd been through there before, as it leads to the central control room.

[ He smirks. ] And the room on the right is the nursery. That's what it was called... but I was also born there. Created.

[Every detail, every sight and sound, every word, Sonic fixed his attention on all of it. His mind was often too quick for him, where at the mention of one thing, his mind sprung and scattered into so many different directions, wondering where to go next. But Sonic was learning to focus, and committed as much as he could to memory.

When Shadow pointed out the lights, he pictured them on and the alarm blaring. When Shadow mentioned each room in particular, he pictured what they were like, piecing together what he could from his own memory with the scenes in front of him.

He smiled slightly, thinking of the name and looking to the last room that Shadow had pointed out.]

... Cool.

[He had opened his eyes, breathed, and experienced life for the first time right here.]

Are you gonna go inside?

[ Shadow looked at Sonic and shrugged. ]

There wouldn't be a point to it. I was born there, but it didn't hold any special meaning to me. I was kept separate from the other research subjects.

[ He'd been a little lonely; talking to the professor from inside a test tube hadn't been the most glorious of things. Even then, the professor had only been analyzing his charts, mostly talking to himself, but Shadow, though unborn at the time, had been listening. As an unborn child listens to its mother's voice, Shadow listened to the voices of his creators. ]

A child never returns to its mother's womb; I have no reason to return to that place. If you want to see it, be my guest.

[Hearing how Shadow described his home was so different than how he had heard anyone else speak about their home or a place that was important to them. Home was somewhere to be revered, like a safe haven or sanctuary to return to or retreat to when necessary. But Shadow had been created instead, which had set him apart from other living beings. Sonic never really liked to think about it in those terms, preferring when Shadow said he was "born" instead.

Sonic glanced over to the room again. His curiosity had been piqued though. He didn't know much about science or all the details of all of the research that had taken place here. How had Shadow come into existence at all?]

... If it's okay with you, then yeah, I do want to see it.

[He had the door opened, although he didn't step inside, only looking at it from the outside. It didn't feel right. Shadow knew the space station best, and Sonic didn't want to go anywhere without what seemed like his permission, though had given it already.]

Edited 2011-06-27 01:34 (UTC)

[ Shadow watched Sonic stand at the doorway and sighed. ]

Are you just going to stand there? [ Walking past the blue hedgehog, Shadow entered into the room. It was decent sized, a testing tube on the left side of the area. There were computers and monitors filling that part of the room. The tube was empty and pristine. On the right side of the room there were some stuffed animals, a few pillows and some story books.

Shadow walked to another window which allowed one to view the Earth again. This room seemed to have a similar view to the observation deck, but this time from the right, which meant anyone who stood here could see what capsules were being ejected. ]

[That was better. Sonic followed Shadow's lead into the room, looking around at the nursery, as it had been so named. He headed over to the window to look down at the Earth once more, now at a different angle and view, the cloud and land formations around it slightly altered than from the other deck.

He had also noticed something that seemed out of place. The stuffed animals and pillows and books. A typical lab wouldn't hold such items, but then, this wasn't a typical lab. Whose were they? Sonic could take a guess. The items did lend themselves to making the lab that much more like a home instead of just a mere birthplace of various projects and, well, Shadow too.]

So it all started here.

[ Shadow nodded. ]

For better or for worse.

[ After all, his birth meant the destruction of the ARK... It wasn't his fault, but he felt responsible inevitably. He looked over at the toys, slowly stepping into the area they were lying in. ]

... [ He looked down at the books, memories streaming through his mind. He let out a sigh and turned away. ]

Is that all?

[It had started here, with Shadow coming to life, like the pieces had fallen together perfectly on the timeline, in line with fate. He hadn't been born any earlier or later and hadn't taken on any other form.

And why was he a hedgehog at all? All of their bickering and arguing over who was the faker was so... It was pointless now. None of them knew of each other's existences, and how could they due to the way time had worked. Neither of them had asked to be born as hedgehogs. Not that Sonic wasn't extremely proud to be one now, but he had no choice from the very start. Neither had Shadow. It was strange to think that their relationship may have been so radically different had time or fate changed one single detail or event.

Seeing Shadow near the toys, Sonic walked over there as well. The pillows and stuffed animals were cute, soft and warm compared to the hard, cold lab and electronics around them. But the books... Those had pictures and stories. Information. Either fantasy, fuel for the imagination, or fact. Was that why Shadow had also taken such a liking to the library besides the pure pursuit of knowledge?]

It shouldn't just be my decision, y'know. We're here for you, aren't we?

I didn't intend to come back in here.

[ Shadow picked up one of the books. It was Children's Literature... It obviously belonged to Maria, and Shadow flipped open the book. It was called "Winter Bear". Each page had a picture with some words to go with it. Shadow remembered... his first day out of the test tube, after he'd been shown around the ARK, he met Maria.

She insisted that they read and play together. There were barely any kids on the ARK her age. She showed Shadow the books that the Professor read to her when she was very young... "Winter Bear" was her favorite.

Shadow closed the book and put it back down carefully, gently. ]

There's too much.

[All was quiet, save for Shadow's movements and the gentle turning of pages. Sonic knew that for that single moment he should blend into the background, leaving Shadow to his memories without the blue hedgehog there to interfere or ruin them. As much as Sonic had insisted that Shadow move forward, as he said before, he didn't want Shadow to forget his past. There were good memories in there along with not so good ones, and it was inevitable. There had to be the not so good ones to make the good ones that much more precious.

Once Shadow spoke again, Sonic nodded, understanding, or understanding as much as he could. It couldn't have been easy, and Sonic had been the one to let his curiosity get the better of him. He spoke quietly, and though he hadn't said it in the exact words, there was an apology somewhere in his voice.]

... Okay. We should go then.

[ Shadow wasted no time in exiting the nursery, instead he began to head back to the observation deck. He knew the ARK better than anyone currently alive, he could drive it into the Earth if he wanted to, but that goal no longer remained.

Now just sadness lingered.

Perhaps it was time to leave the ARK, to look at other places, to get away from these memories and find something worth living for. He had to acknowledge that he wasn't going to die any time soon. Maria wouldn't have wanted him to waste his life. No matter how long it would end up being, even he didn't know.

Shadow proceeded over to the monitor on the observation deck, entering a few commands. The ARK began to make a check on different units throughout the facility. Weapons, guard services, air check, Chaos Drives... Everything was in working order, without a single bloodstain. He wondered, briefly, if this was the ARK as it was 50 years ago, except without anyone onboard.

If this place could bring people from different times... then why not objects? Places? Theoretically, it was all possible. ]

[Perhaps Shadow leaving as quickly as he did was almost symbolic. He wanted to leave it behind or even... throw it all away, so to speak. And yet there it would be, constantly following him and something he couldn't shake off. But that was just it too. No, he couldn't forget and shouldn't. He had to lead the way and look ahead, not let it hold him back.

The sound of the machines working, processing commands, displaying numbers and symbols and statistics signaled activity, but it wasn't life. It wasn't alive. It's also what made being in the space station that much more empty or inhospitable now since... it used to be. It used to hold life, contain life, be full of life and even create life.

Sonic stood next to the black hedgehog, again his eyes looking out over the Earth.]

I said I wouldn't let you do this alone, so I'm not.

What're you thinking about? ... If you need to leave, then we should.

That sounds like a good idea; I'm tired of this place. [ No doubt Shadow would come back here in order to do his thinking, but he didn't want to spend anymore time here. Wasting away in memories... There wasn't any point to it.

It was just another form of decay. He turned to Sonic after shutting down the monitor and offered his hand. ]

I suppose thanks are in order.

You got it. Let's go somewhere else then.

[Sonic nodded at Shadow's response. His darker counterpart had experienced enough here for now. If he needed to return, then Sonic was more than willing to join him, but would respect his decision if he needed to have time to himself as well.

The blue hedgehog had turned and saw Shadow offer his hand. He extended his hand out too to place it in Shadow's.]

Hey, you don't hafta thank me, really. I wanted to help, and I'm not askin' for anything in return.

[ Shadow's grip was firm, and he didn't bother shaking the other's hand. After a moment, he released his grip and turned to where they had appeared. There was a warp ring waiting for them.

Without hesitation, the hedgehog leapt through it, landing back inside the lobby. His intent on exploration replaced his need for verifying the past. Perhaps it was better this way. ]

[Whenever Sonic went anywhere, it was always to go straight there, looking forward. But this time, after Shadow leaped through the warp ring, Sonic took a look back at the space colony they were leaving behind for the time being.

...

He didn't want to keep Shadow waiting, so he also jumped into the warp ring and appeared back inside the lobby.]

[ Shadow watched Sonic pop out of the ring, eying him. ]

If you want to come back here, you won't have to wait for me. I don't control who goes in or who comes out. If I don't satisfy your curiousity of the ARK, you can do it on your own.

[Sonic nodded once more, now not looking back at the warp ring he had just exited from.]

Yeah, I know, but I think I'm good for now. It's still gonna be there if I ever do want to go back. Or if you want to too.

Are you gonna be okay?

[ Shadow shook his head. ]

It will take more than a trip down memory lane to render me useless. [ But he was feeling tired after that. He felt like thanking Sonic again, but wasn't exactly sure how to say it... But he was tired now, and desired a rest. ]

Don't follow me this time. [ It sounded worse than he meant for it to, but he was honest. He wanted to be alone, and perhaps sleep if he needed to. ]

I know, you don't have to tell me twice.

[It might not have rendered him useless, but it clearly had affected the black hedgehog in some way. But there wasn't a need to say that as they were both well aware of it. The black hedgehog did have his pride, after all. Had it been reversed, Sonic would have thought the same way.]

Heh, I won't. You go do your thing. See ya 'round, Shadow.

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aren't incapability and mourning simply things you want to fear?

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