specialzone | you live an endless life forever

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you live an endless life forever

[ For Shadow, as far as he'd met, there were two Sonics that he trusted more implicitly than the rest. Implicit trust did not come easily for the black hedgehog, and trusting enough to tell another some of his past, though mild, was more trust than he'd give anyone casually. One Sonic he met while in Johto, who he was able to share some of his story with, and come to a point of understanding, especially at a time when he was trying to decide what to do with himself since two very important people had disappeared from the world.

The other blue hedgehog was one that had found him while Shadow had been suffering from hallucinations and intense fear, showing a side he never showed anyone else. That Sonic had stayed by him and managed to bring Shadow back to his former self.

Now, Shadow had holed himself up in a Station Square library, reading a few books. He had a pile of them on a table and was steadily working through all of them... But at the same time, he thought about his recent actions, recent decisions. Was he becoming what the Professor wanted him to be? What Maria wanted? Was Sonic right; that he should be whoever he himself thought was best? Living for oneself was something Shadow never did before. It would certainly take some getting used to.

He flips another page, catching up on history and technological advances made by mankind and different parts of the world. The information was greatly appreciated, allowing him to learn about the people he was supposed to help... for Maria's sake. ]

... Hmph.

[ He reads a quote at the bottom of one page. ] “We can do no great things; only small things with great love.” Mother Teresa... [Shadow leans back against his seat, thinking about the quotation he read.] Is that really true, I wonder.

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[Sonic whistled again, also just as impressed with Shadow and his knowledge about telescopes. Shadow would be since he was interested in astronomy at all. The blue hedgehog looked again at the viewing device, then up toward the rooftop, out where the telescope had extended.

He did pause though before using the telescope. He didn't quite know how to use it or focus it correctly. Not that it intimidated him, but it was like the library's OPAC or online catalog. This was all Shadow's terrain, being knowledgeable about these kinds of things.

Shadow had been the one who wanted to come visit the observatory. Why did he suddenly not want to take the first shot at looking through the telescope?]

... It's still out there, isn't it?

[ Shadow watched Sonic tinker with the telescope, somewhat amused. He didn't offer to give the other a hand, since he knew that the hedgehog would rather do things his way.

But at the question, Shadow nodded. ]

It should be. Unless this world we're in hasn't included it. The Eclipse Cannon was designed as a form of defense, against what I wasn't told, but it was something that the Professor feared would "destroy the Earth".

[Looks at his hands.] Aside from that, it was a way to orbit the Earth, watch over it. But I suppose the Professor's intentions fell on deaf ears.

[Sonic didn't like to think that this wasn't their world. It resembled it so much, it was almost cruel. That world at home was the one he had fought to protect, the one that they both had protected. The resemblance should have been comforting, but it was all the more a reminder that this wasn't home.

The blue hedgehog quieted, looking up again at the telescope. His sight seemed to pierce through the observatory rooftop and through to the sky, to space. If it was still out there, it was so far away, a remnant of the past, immediate and distant.

Sonic turned back to his darker counterpart now. He had to try this. If he didn't, he would never know.]

Hey... So what was it like up there?

[ Shadow's gaze was piercing now as he stared at Sonic. ]

Of course you wouldn't have paid attention while you were there.

[ He sounds somewhat offended, but he can't blame Sonic entirely. The ARK as it is now is nowhere near what it was like 50 years ago... Back then, it was home. Now it was just an empty shell. ]

[So defensive. Sonic also couldn't blame him back. Perhaps he hadn't been clear. Time to make it crystal then.]

You're doin' it again, the thing where you're not listenin' to me.

... What was it like up there. Before. Before any of this.

[It was as crystalline as it was going to get. He always found himself skirting around the issue. It was a sensitive topic, secretive and hidden and concealed and yet something Sonic had wanted to know more about, but always found himself blocked at the gate. And Shadow was a vicious sentinel and gatekeeper.]

[ Shadow shook his head, eyes closing. ]

I don't have time for this.

[ He was closing himself up again, upset by the sudden questions. What difference would it make being able to tell someone what it was like? It could never be that way again. It would always be cold and empty now. Filled with government robots and old research projects gone rogue.

Just like him. ]

... All right, then don't worry 'bout it, and forget I asked.

[Sonic shrugged lightly, having anticipated the door being shut and remaining shut. It was the same with the issue of immortality. Things that Sonic didn't and probably couldn't ever fully understand. Was it too soon or was there never the correct time for it? Maybe he would never know.

Instead, he did what he did best and changed the subject, bringing back the signature upbeat tone in his voice. Fiddling with the controls of the telescope right about now.]

If you're still up for it, show me how this works! Everything's still all blurry, I can't see anything out of this!

[ His defenses were raised quite high, but when Sonic dropped it, the black hedgehog slowly lowered them again... He wasn't ready. Not yet. Sonic may have seen him when he was at his most vulnerable, but now Shadow wasn't feeling quite so open.

He approached the telescope, reaching for the lens wheel. ]

Turn this. Adjust it until the image is clear. If you move this... [ He gestures to a nearby winding wheel.] You can change the direction you're looking in.

[Sonic had left the issue alone. It was Shadow's to share, and he had no right to pry, even if he had tried to see if the Ultimate Life form was ready to open up at all.

He did as Shadow had instructed, and the picture was much clearer than before as promised!]

So you've seen other planets and stuff? How do you find these things out there? Isn't there some kinda chart or somethin'?

[Ooh, and does Saturn actually have, get this, rings around it for real? Pictures and photographs said they did, but really? What would it look like through a telescope?]

[ Shadow decided to only answer one of those questions, since there were three and they were listed too quickly. ]

I've never visited another planet, but aboard the ARK we'd been able to identify other planets and observe them... Chaos Control was also a helpful benefactor in this process.

[ He reaches a hand out, sliding his palm over a part of the telescope. ]

[Not as though Sonic noticed since having any questioned answered was good and probably led to more questions anyway.]

So cool... Heh, it's kinda neat. Not a lot people can say they got to see stuff like that.

[Sonic moved over now, a little bit away from the scope itself.]

Don't you wanna take a look at what's up there?

[ Shadow looked at the scope, then at the ground. He knew he came here to do just that, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. Despite his earlier words, he knew it would be up there.

Knew it, and was still afraid to look. ]

... [ But now wasn't a time for fear. He pushed back any thoughts of anxiety and approached the scope, fixing his gaze into the lens to take a look. He began to adjust the wheel, having been so used to the ARK's orbit that he knew where to find it at what time of day. Eventually, he stops adjusting the winder wheel and stares into the telescope in silence.

He could see it. Calm, peaceful.

Shadow, what do you think it's like on Earth?
The Professor said his life's work was dedicated to... all of those who lived down there. He once told that the reason for his existence was making people happy through the power of science.
Shadow...
Maria, I just don't know anything anymore. I often wonder why I was created; what my purpose is for being here. Maybe if I go down there I... I will find the answers. ... Maybe.

Shadow pulled away from the scope and began to head down the steps away from it. ]

[Shadow tinkered with the telescope so adeptly, it looked as though it was second nature, and it had to have been. The black hedgehog took less time than Sonic thought he would have. There wasn't anything else he had wanted to see? ... He was always so fixated on the past.

Silence. Sonic was never really used to silence. Tranquility, peace, serenity, that he could handle. Silence was something else. Silence forced Sonic to be much more introspective as there lacked any outside stimuli to pull his attention away from himself.

But perhaps he could stand to learn to be silent once in a while. One of those times seemed to be now as he quietly followed Shadow down the stairs. He was concerned for Shadow, without a doubt that was true, yet chose not to vocalize it.]

[ Once Shadow moved toward the exit, he stopped and looked to Sonic. His gaze seemed somewhat distant, like his mind was elsewhere, but he was trying to focus. ]

Is there somewhere else you'd like to go? This place has many warp rings.

[ If the ARK was here... then surely there was a way to get to it. Shadow felt that if he had to, he'd go and see it. He should, shouldn't he? ]

[Once addressed, Sonic turned to Shadow and considered his options. There really was a lot this world had, familiar and yet so foreign. Station Square was exactly as he remembered it, if not more.

He tilted his head in thought, bringing a hand up to his chin. Since Shadow had asked a question and broken the silence, then Sonic was given the go-ahead to speak as well.]

I'm up for anywhere! If it's anythin' like home, then it'd be nice to see more of it! See what's the same and what's not, stuff like that.

Any place you're thinkin' of? You're the one that's gotta see more of the world, right? You really should be the one choosing where we go.

[ Choosing where to go? Shadow didn't know where to go. As fun as evading military jet planes had been, it wasn't his idea of sightseeing. He pointed at Sonic. ]

Blue hedgehog, has it occurred to you that I don't know any significant landmarks on the Earth? My history on this planet is severely lacking. I only know of places seen in postcards.

[Sonic raised his hands up as he was pointed to, a gesture to show he was giving in.]

Okay, okay, just hang on a sec! Kinda puttin' me on the spot here.

[Twinkle Park, done. Observatory, done. Station Square... done? He wasn't sure. Postcards, those hardly showed anything. What could they do, where could they go to find some landmark that was significant? Should they start with something simple? It wasn't land, per se, but anyone who saw Earth from space could see that it was... blue. That had to be something.]

... Well, Earth is a cool shade of true blue. C'mon, Emerald Coast isn't all that far from here. You can go see the ocean all up close and personal, how's that?

[Just beware of orcas. And drowning. Drowning is definitely not good.]

Emerald Coast. [Yes, he'd heard of it, but never had a chance to go. Then again, he had no reason to. There weren't any Chaos Emeralds on the Coast at the time.]

Very well. Let's try there.

Sweet, then let's go!

[Sonic began walking away from the observatory, resisting the urge to look back at it. They would have to be back some time again. When Shadow was ready, ready for that conversation, whenever that might be.]

[ Shadow nodded and followed the blue hedgehog. His mind was focused now, and he longed for a wider space. Even he was beginning to feel closed in... at least from his past trying to swallow him up again.

He didn't want it. ]

Tell me, blue hedgehog, why is it you go to a beach when you can't swim? [ DON'T THINK HE HASN'T NOTICED. ]

[Sonic's ears perked up when he heard the question. A flash of ending up in the ocean without a way out--Sonic shook his head, not letting it bother him as it was never going to happen if he could help it.]

Well, why does anyone get on a plane or somethin' when they can't fly? I still like it since there's other stuff to do other than swimming or whatever!

[W-why do you have be so observant all the time, Shadow? /sob]

[ Shadow smiled a little wider at that response. He's laughing to himself, but he won't voice any of it; walking behind another person has its benefits. ]

Yes, of course.

[ Shadow himself hadn't yet learned to swim, there wasn't a need to before. But he never went anywhere that required him to swim... So it wasn't that much of a problem. ]

Hey, now, be nice! I'll... learn how to swim at some point! It can't be that hard! Lots of people know how!

[So says the blue hedgehog who is terrified of water for apparently no reason other than being unable to swim. He continued to walk, thinking about what he had just said and how true it had been. Why was it that he never learned how? He wasn't built for it or something like that. Everyone had to have some weakness. Why did his have to be so... obvious or simplistic.]

... I'll get over it eventually. I will.

[ Shadow looked at the ground. He was learning that everyone had a weakness of some sort... even if he was created to be the Ultimate Life form, a part of life is weakness.

Suffering. ]

I don't care if you get over it or not. No one can dictate to you what your weaknesses will or won't be. If it scares you, no one can force you to overcome it.

If you can live without swimming, then no one should tell you otherwise.

[Sonic stopped walking after Shadow had finished. It was embarrassing having what seemed like a pathetic weakness or excuse to stay away from something that other people took for granted or saw as harmless and ordinary. It seemed so irrational, even Sonic thought it was.

It wasn't a secret, all his friends knew of this fear. Sometimes they joked about it, as serious as it was. Just how serious it had been, Sonic never disclosed it to them. Not until now.

He looked ahead, not looking back at the black hedgehog.]

... Thanks.

Edited 2011-06-25 23:36 (UTC)

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i may make a new post in specialzone today /o/

Yay! \o\ I'll look for it!

/o/ posted it

Saw it, thanks!

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